“The Devil’s Dotted Line” (Prod. Commander Keen)
A rap ballad about what lengths some will go for love. Recorded right after “Future Nostalgia.” was finished. I was in the zone.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Clyde
And Clyde was my friend since we were in junior high
Clyde had a bankroll he was always fly
I was poor but we’re still bros: ride or die
Clyde drove a Porsche a Porsche that’s no lie
He’d drive I’d ride the passenger side
He ain’t think it was tight ’cause he had cash all his life
But I said all the time “Man, I’d kill to make this mine!”
So when picking up girls I did it for him: extra work
So one day we’re cruising on the search for skirts
When we see two dimes at the mall buyin’ shirts
I had my eye on Ms. thick thighs on the side
But Clyde was staring at her friend for a long time
“I think I’m in love,” he whispered to me “Yeah right.”
“No, for real! You gotta hook me up. She’s perfect in my sight.”
“Ok! We’ll walk up to both of them, aight.
You talk to the girl you like I’ll handle her friend on the right.
Just get to know her, then get her name and number,
And later on you can call her tonight.”
“Cool,” we spiked. So we walk up to the chicks
Start talkin to the chicks but Clyde so shy he don’t say shit
I get the name and numbers of both of them then we dip
In whip Clyde like “I’d sell my soul to be slick…”(Chorus)
Be careful what you wish for (wish for)
And what you sign (sign)
Dont want your Hancock on the devil’s dotted line (dotted line)
Your soul’s no different everything’s got a price (got a price)
Some things you’re not meant to have in life (have in life)
The girl Clyde liked was named Stef; short for Stefanie
Ms. thick thighs was ugly so her name’s not worth mentioning
I passed Stef’s number to Clyde told him give her a ring
Clyde called they talked for some time
It was fine ’til she asked “Who’s ya friend? He was fine!”
Full of despair cursing in the air like “Life ain’t fair!
I can’t even act like this is unexpected.
I always get rejected. Why won’t love ever come my direction?
I’ll never find a girl to fill this heart full of holes
Hell, just to have Stefanie I’d sell my soul.”
BOOM! Out walked The Devil like some cartoon
“Who are you?!”… “Now, now, come on, Clyde,
You know I; don’t be shy I want a moment of your time.
I heard you have somethin’ for sale,” he said whipping his tail
“Let’s make a deal. I promise it’ll be fair.”
“I want this girl Stefanie to love me, Satan.
If you can make that happen my soul’s yours for taken.”
“What you’re saying is impossible
Love ain’t controlled its somethin’ unplottable.
I’ll promise you this though, if your soul’s in my grip, bro,
You and Stefanie will marry definitely.”
“Fa sho! OK, I’ll let it go,” Clyde said with a sigh
He put his Hancock on the line full dots
His phone rang; it was Stef. “Hey, Clyde, let’s talk!”
If you didn’t think they were in love I’d probably say you’re crazy
She ‘came his lady officially years later
2 to be exact with ceremony and paper
Clyde’s life couldn’t be greater
He had a house on the hill, a fine wife,
And those Porsche wheels still
But what was concealed behind the curtain seals
Was that Stef was only his honey ’cause he had money
And to make it more crummy for my buddy
Since they were dating even married
Me and Stef had been fucking
I know I shouldn’t have but this girl was bad
She loved me but only fucked me ’cause I ain’t have cash
For years this would last ’til at last Clyde crashed at his pad
And found me and Stef while we smashed
As you’d expect he got mad, then we clashed, then I dashed
Clyde and Stef divorced later when she told what we had
Clyde was suicidal sad and more than mad
“How could they do this to me? I gave them everything I had!”
He called to The Devil “Satan reappear here!
We got to get things clear! You didn’t keep up your deal!”
“Yes I did, I said love can’t be controlled”
“You lying, bro, return my soul now. Let it go.”
“Nope, I wont do.”… “Yeah, you gotta do that!”
“Only way you’ll get yours is if you bring two back.
Here, take this contract of mine and whoever you can
The Devil disappeared Clyde was left in the dark
‘Til a thought sparked he hopped in his Porsche that was parked
Then drove over to the trailer park where me and Stef were living
He called me out the R.V. to talk
“Look, man,” extending his hand “we shouldn’t have fought.
You been my friend since the start from the pit of my heart”
I said “Yeah, I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark.
Should’ve told you Stef was feelin’ me and playin’ you hard.”
“No problem none at all,” Clyde said waving his hand
“Ask steff to come out. I got a gift for you, fam”
Steff came out we all stood in front of the house
When Clyde pulled from his pants a little piece of paper out
“Yo, man,” he said “I know you love my Porsche.
I want to give it to you as an olive branch of sorts.”
“Of course,” I said with no hesitation
This was so amazing just the very moment I was waiting
“Good, you and Stef just sign this dotted line.”
And without reading, I did then Clyde said goodbye…